for you:

You who works so hard but is never enough
This is for you.
You who fights every day
To live without any regrets
But just when you think
There’s nothing left to fight
The demons creep back up and
    Knock you down
    And scratch your heart
    Until it bleeds
               And bleeds
               And bleeds.
    Until your red turns to white
    And the white turns to gray.
And the gray is everything you are
And there seems to be no escape.
This is for you.

You who wakes up
And says “You can do it”
And paints a smile on your face
With bright pink lipstick
This is for you.
                  But the smile never reaches your eyes
                  And the happiness never reaches your heart
Because the demons are easier
And easier to hide.
This is for you.

And your mom doesn’t get it
When you start crying on the phone
Because you’re just so tired
No matter how much sleep you get
You’re just so tired
         Of feeling like a burden
         Of wanting to escape
         Of needing something more
              Than a painted on smile
              And a quick hug
              And popping the same three pills every morning.
       This is for you.

You who wants to change the world
  And doesn’t know how.
  This is for you.
You who needs a change
  But can’t seem to find it.
  This is for you.

You who sees that light in others
    But can’t find it in yourself.
This is for you:
Depression is not everything you are.
It is not a passing feeling
That is synonymous with “sad,”
But you will survive it because you are that strong.
And that incredible.
And that beautiful.
And you will see that light in yourself
Because you shine brighter than others
Because you are those bright rays
Peeking through the gray clouds after the storm.
And we are here for you.
We are all here for you.
We are all here with you.
Right by your side.
And this – this is for you.

Featured image from photographer Christian Hopkins, 16.



Hey, You Made It

To the kid who is “always so happy” who spends his nights crying himself to sleep,

            You made it.

To the girl who thought she could not live without him

            You made it.

To the mom who didn’t think she could support her baby without him there

            You did it.

To the boy sitting in school in a uniform skirt because everyone tells him he’s a girl because that’s what is on his birth certificate

            You made it.

To the girl who had to wear a long-sleeve shirt everyday so her parents wouldn’t see her scars

            You made it.

To the college student who wants to go hang out with his friends more than anything in the world, but he is too afraid he will have a panic attack at the party

            You made it.

To you: the kid standing on the edge of the cliff, tottering between life and death

            You did it.
            You made it this far.
            You are so strong.
            You are incredible.
            And you are not alone.

To those who have never felt any of the above things

            You are blessed
            You are loved.
            You are strong.
            You made it.

To you, whoever you are: you made it. You made it through another year even if there were times you swore you weren’t going to, and I am so proud of you. You are not alone. You can make it through another year. I believe in you and I love you.