Learning what I find important in life has been a difficult journey, and it’s nowhere near over. I am constantly thinking about what I could be doing better, or what I am searching for, and it’s not easy to comprise a list of these things. What I will try to do is tell you what I have learned and what I am in the process of learning.
I have learned that even though I am living away from home, and that I’m probably one of the most independent people I know, I will always miss my family and my dog. Sometimes just the idea of being at home on the couch watching football with my family and a table full of Buffalo Wild Wings in front of me brings me to tears.
I have learned that I’m privileged and lucky. I have a family to miss and a second (and third and fourth) family to love me and care for me wherever I am in the world. I have never wanted for anything that I need to survive.
I have learned that I am a strong person, but I’m not strong enough to handle everything on my own. Sometimes I need help, and that’s okay.
I have learned that I give a lot, and that’s not always a good thing. Sometimes I need to take a step back and say no. A friend and I were talking recently about how we always say yes to things and we think that this will make us happy and productive, but in the end, it makes us stressed and unproductive. It’s okay to say no to things, even if those things might be stuff you don’t think you want to miss out on – there will be other opportunities to hang out with those friends.
I have not yet learned what it is I want to “do with my life.” Despite, constantly getting the question day in and day out, just because I am a junior in college, I do not have my future nailed down, and yes, you asking me that does make me feel a little nervous. I am contemplating a lot of things, and I know that I am the kind of person who will not really know what I want to do until I start doing it.
I have not yet learned quite how to love. Loving is sometimes so easy and sometimes it’s so much harder. I’ve not figured it all out yet, but I’m working on it.
I will always consider myself a learner long after I’m out of school. I will always continue learning new things and I don’t know if I’ll ever really “figure everything out,” but I like to think that I can keep working on it.