Sometimes I have those days where I scroll through my Facebook pictures for hours and sometimes it even gets worse and I start scrolling through my list of friends. It is then that I am reminded of several things. First and foremost, that a lot of these names on my “Friends” List are people that I would never even refer to as a friend. Some of them are people I’ve met once. There are even a few that I have never met. I also see the ones who may have been friends at one time, but now lead their own lives with their own experiences completely separate from mine. An amazing YouTube vlogger once said (and by once I mean like a week ago), “Just because you know someone doesn’t mean they deserve you in their life.” Later in that same video Tyler Oakley said, “You are allowed to cut people off who are not productive, who do not make you a better person, and who do not make you happy.” (link to video at bottom)
This made me begin to think about who these people were in my life that did make me productive and did make me happier. It made me think about the ones that delay or stop that productivity and the ones that keep me from being happy. In the midst of all of this reflection, it conveniently happened to be my best friend’s birthday. As I finished making my PicStitch and started brainstorming what my ooey gooey post on her Facebook wall would say, it finally made me realize that people like her were what made me happy. I came across another quote that perfectly described how I feel about my best friends: “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand” (Henri Nouwen).
I remembered how special those few people were in my life and how I wouldn’t have accomplished anything without their help and their support. This friend in particular had been with me through everything and I with her. She was the one I went to when I was stressed out or anxious. She was the one I went to when something really exciting happened. She was one of the first people I told about my decision to move halfway across the country. She was the first person I confided in when my mom was diagnosed with cancer. She knows things about me that no one will ever know. There is something extraordinary and precious about having someone like that in your life, and those are the people you should be spending your emotions on. Like Tyler said, you have no obligation to give yourself, your emotions or your effort to someone simply because you know them. If they aren’t bettering you as a person, then you don’t need them and they don’t deserve you.
So thank you to all of my friends who make my life better every single day. Thank you for being that tender hand and forgiving heart. I could not ask for better people in my life to encourage me and support me and help me along. Thank you to people I look up to, like my parents and Tyler Oakley. For now, I may be stumbling and confused, but I would rather be confused with you guys.
Here’s Tyler Oakley’s video that was mentioned above. Enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOdljzx-xSA&feature=c4-overview-vl&list=PL61488594D1D09C18
PS: Briley, if you’re reading this: I love you a lot.